Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Get Fat...Get Dumped?
Recently a survey (Great Male Survey @ AskMen.com) was taken of young men in dating relationships: If your girlfriend grew fat would you dump her?
48% of 75,000 men surveyed, of an age group of 18-34 yrs old answered simply:
Watching an HLN interview I heard a guest named 'Steve' say that women are viewed physically naturally by men, and they are sexually attracted to them based on their physical presence. Here are some points he made:
1. They are apparently 'lazy' or giving into 'laziness' if they have gained 60 pounds
2. Their self esteem is off kilter if they have gained 60 pounds
3. Their attitude about themselves and others is bad when they are overweight
4. Their sexual drive and desire is diminished as they have gained this weight
Believe it or not, I think I agree with 'Steve's' view! YIKES!
As a woman who has been up and down with her weight I do believe it surrounds issues that he points out. I don't view it as bias on his part (the counter female reporters were coming down on him for saying this and called him bias; only settling for a Victoria Secrets model types)
I don't think he meant it that way.
I do believe we owe it to ourselves and our spouses to remain attractive, not just sexually but mentally. Our partner needs to feel secure that we are 'ok' 'happy' 'steady' and more. It's important to have a good attitude, self esteem and healthy physical presence.
This doesn't mean I think it devalues anyone that is overweight but deep down inside (physical issues aside such as thyroid problems) behind the weight gain exists issue/s that have yet to be resolved in the overweight person.
I do believe that how you eat and how you take care of yourself directly ties to your self esteem and attitude, and affects, of course, how you ultimately view yourself. If you don't feel good about yourself you will use anything from unattractive control and power moves to manipulation, to oppression and suffocating tendencies on your partner due to a false lack of value you have for yourself.
Truth be told, most women, want to look good for their spouses and there is absolute correlation between mental attitude of yourself as to the reasons behind a large weight gain of say 50+ pounds.
Are these men shallow or is there validity to the high response of this survey?
By the way, should you be curious, there is a Great Women's Survey out there too!
It's Just me, Val Ciao!