Relationships And The 2012 Election

Do you agree with the thought, if there was anything that could set off fireworks it's Politics, Religion and now Gender Rights, although we don't hear much on Male rights we sure are seeing bombshells fly when it comes to other's rights. (ha! bombshells, in the 50's that was the sign of a beautiful women, now a days women are aghast by any title like that, funny.)

What has happened to the U.S.A.?  It's sad, really no other word describes it for me.

I've never seen our nation more split.  I watch as friends post their take on the election from the conservatives and liberals to the moderates and libertarians.  The views are so diverse yet so narrow.
If you're a conservative then likely your moral values and faith along with your personal needs guide many of your issues and judgement.  If you're a liberal the opposite is true, OR they too have strong moral values for their own lives but believe that there is no purpose or right in imposing the way they choose to believe on others and so they advocate choice and freedoms BUT they do have a limit...the choice and freedom has to fall into their box of what is right or else it's not correct.  Another words the freedom to choose is conditional in an odd way, Hmmm...

I don't have a corner on what is right or wrong and I'm the last one who should be judging.  I do know that others think I'm over the top, and even use the terms naive' and ignorant when they see what I'm concerned with.  I have thought for a very long time there seems to be a double standard when it comes to the far left and the media. They seem to be more comfortable with bashing or pointing out where they feel the other side is wrong rather than sticking  to discussing solutions.  They likely feel the opposite is true and maybe they're right, this is just an observation.  And then there are the ones that believe there is a conspiracy out here and we're all wrong.  Ok then.

I know this blog will give me grief but good or bad it is what I feel.

I wish everyone would respect each other's views, stop spinning the truth and be willing to admit a wrong, or even a lie when it comes to their party of choice.  Oh they will call you out, correct you, and to be fair, you may even correct yourself, but the same doesn't seem to be reciprocated. No, in fact it just seems to then further the bashing and pointing out where you're wrong.  Do we take this so far as to damage friendships over it.  I've been reading more and more about this, and have seen it happen among friends as well.

Why can't everyone see the best in everyone, know there are two sides to every story and that noone is better or has the corner on what is right or wrong for the other?

My business is suffering under the current administration and that is going to influence my vote.  Another voter has health problems with no insurance and that is going to influence their vote.  Another voter lives an alternative lifestyle and that is going to influence their vote and so on...

We all have choices we need to consider and noone is going to be the perfect choice, just as noone has a guide on who the perfect choice is for anyone but themselves.  Many independents are without  an idea of who they are picking and are hoping the debates clear that up and help them to come to the best choice for themselves.

The arguing, bickering, meanspiritedness is crazy wild.  It doesn't matter if you made a choice to stick to your own point of communicating be it Facebook and your timeline or Twitter or even Pinterest.  Everyone is out to put down the views they don't agree with, or correct what they believe needs correction with or without all the facts.  It gets exhausting.

My hope is that after November 6th things will settle down and everyone will return to some form of normalcy however that won't happen without a determination to accept others views, they do have a right to them. Debating is a route to take but don't take it so far that it puts a wedge in your friendship and THINK before you speak or post or tweet.  Words can hurt and scar, is it really all worth it just to be right?  We're probably wrong if we think it is.

Monday is the last debate, then we have 2 weeks and 1 day left till the election...I hope and pray that America can accept the results no matter who wins and restore relationships that have been damaged through much of a political baiting carefully and strategically executed by party committees messaging, along with media trying to swing a bias view and causing havoc and conflict in relationships that get sucked up into it all.  I hope you're as tired of being a pawn to all of this as I am.  I pray you don't find this a sport or fun.

Anyone that thinks they're immune to it all, unless you have remained silent throughout these campaigns and been smart enough to stay out of it all, are denying they are also getting sucked into the political vacumn which is causing this mess.  We've all hurt someone through this and that isn't right, yes, that, is a definite, it isn't right.  Relationships are too important to allow your political views or your distaste with another's views to create wedges between you and another.  Maybe it's time we step back from the political ring and evaluate what's more important, getting your point of view across, bashing, trying to prove another wrong, or the relationship.

I'm banking on the good character of everyone and all the political broohaha will fade away for the sake of relationship.

It's just me, Val, (just sayin)!  Ciao'

Stress Triggers causing Emotional Eating: A Humorous Look at Men's Habits

Triggers: Key Robber of Successfully Breaking a Habit

Today I am dealing with simple and stupid daily stress triggers around the house and have to ask some questions

Is it me, or did God create men short a 'clean up' gene?

Woman LOVE a clean,  picked up house.

Why don't men get that?

Let's take the bathroom:    

Toilet: Maybe they are playing water guns but their aim is awful and then they never look back to clean it up!

Organizing hygiene products: Their hygiene is pretty good, but the products they use are all over the place.  Woman put a container for organizing and make it easily accessible, but they don't seem to realize that 
Take it out, Put it back!

For that matter no matter what organizer we give our men, they have to, just have to leave what they took out of it, on the counter.  Is it a game they play with us?  

Toothpaste tubes:  How do they get the paste out after it has dried and crusted around the hole leaving only a pinhole for excreting the paste onto the brush.  They do it though, amazing!

Toothbrush: Don't they feel the need to rinse the handle off, I mean sooner or later the crusted paste will fall off with use, Geesh!

Toilet paper:  Is it too much to ask them to replace the empty roll on the roller, and not just put the new roll on top of the empty used one?

Bathing/Shower:  A FACT:10 out of 10 wet towels will stay wet if not laid out flat for drying?  I know that is a stunning stat, but it's true hun!  Scrunching your towel up after bathing does nothing but keeps it damp and musty!!!

OK ONTO THE BEDROOM

Socks: Can we not have one central place to drop dirty socks?
Oh and PLEASE unravel them so they wash clean?  Not My Job, Man! Thank YOU!

Clothes: We have a laundry basket, please!

THE KITCHEN

Glasses/Dishes: Ok, I mean how many water glasses does a man need?  And if the sink is empty?  It's likely the cup or dish should go into the dishwasher.

Countertops:  When making a midnight snack, look behind you?  YES, crumbs fall, clean them up!  And they wonder how we know they ate?

Hanging up Coats:  Coat Closets are put near the door for a reason.  The kitchen chair is 30 feet away from the door in our home.  Do they work the 30 foot walk to hang their coats on the kitchen chair instead, in as part of their daily workout?  Don't they know we actually like the wood on the chairs to show, I know they don't realize that.

Opening Mail: Opened envelopes and garbage cans?  Need I say more?

Just one of the many triggers of stress woman deal with daily. 

It's Just Me Val, Ciao!

2011 AND CONSTRUCTION ON THE ROAD

2011: HIGHWAY SIGN "CONSTRUCTION NEXT SIX MONTHS"

If you're anything like me, each new year you say "I'm going to do this or that"  

I realized that one of my big hiccups in saying this is that I don't ready my mind for longterm goals.  Oh I don't mean, I know I will have my last cigarette on December 31st, and I am ready to quit cold turkey January 1st.  No, that isn't what I mean, though I've been there, done that.  I mean to go to the core and start to build the habit and change there.  For me as most know it would be my spirit.  I have failed over the years and realized that the problem has been where my spirit is leaning and gleening it's strength from.  So this year is different for me.  

My journey is leading me down the path that will tap into where my source of strength comes from, in my case it is my relationship with the Lord, for you it might be something else.  I am rebuilding my habits to embrace that relationship and depend on Him for the strength to work daily at changing me.  My goals this year are simple:  To be a better me.  And yes, I have a weight goal with an end date for reaching it that is part of this.  So for the next 6 months the highway my life path is taking will be "under construction". The speed limit is slow in order to do and be the best I can be and to manage my expectations along the way.

I'm excited to begin the journey and blog as I go.  I hope you'll join me.

It's just me Val,  Ciao!

"All About Me" Day 4

WAKE UP CALL...

Up at 6, in training by 6:30 on the nose

Wow I can't believe I'm in my 4th day and still going strong.

1200+ calorie burn for the first week.

Now, that is something to shout about!

I did this in two days with Core Training BUT 

I haven't done this in a long time with in home training at all.  

So you bet I'm proud!

ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE!!!

So ATTITUDE huh?

I believe that the old stand by sound advice to come expectantly is correct advice and I am claiming that for today as a matter of my faith.  If we don't come expectantly we will never receive what it is we need for that moment.  With this in mind, I believe it is no mistake that I belong in our exercise room at 6:30 am each morning and that what I am about to hear is a message that has bearing on my needs at the moment.  I come expecting and I receive, IT NEVER FAILS!  I just love that about having faith.

So it doesn't surprise me at all that both programs I am listening to while I am training are dealing with Dreams, Goals, Vision and Growth.  Not only both programs but also the commercials.  Talk about being "hit between the eyes" with a message. 

So when watching 'faith based' programming, you can always count on a plug for a book, or something at the end of the program with a 'bonus gift', kind of the same as an infomercial.  So today's bonus gift were motivational quotes from scripture to help you through your toughest of times.  All on one card.  The card today was on ATTITUDE. 

I'm reflecting on my revelation from yesterday of this 'All About Me' moment NOT just about selfishly taking time out for ME, but also it's about looking within myself to see what needs to change in ME to make it to my next goal, a cleansing so to speak in order to be the best I can be.

So here comes this plug for the series on "reaching your goals" and your ATTITUDE being so important in moving forward.  So I listen and then look up above the TV thinking, and all of the sudden I focus on the picture right above the TV in that room.  Can you guess what it was?  Yep you got it, we have motivational pictures on all the walls in our exercise room and the one right above the TV?  ATTITUDE!  Wow, God works in mysterious ways, and sometimes He makes sure you get it!

So today I am concentrating on my ATTITUDE in everything I do.  This is when the enemy will come to steal my ATTITUDE back and try to make me grumpy, which will cause others to get frustrated with my responses, and then start a cycle of stress that leads to what else?  You got it, Comfort Food!  I am so happy to have a handle on this at the beginning of my day so I can keep my eye on the mark and today's mark is my ATTITUDE.

OK not much more to add to today, I just keep believing and receiving His Grace for the moment I'm in.  His Grace Is Sufficient.

It's Just Val, Caio!

"ALL ABOUT ME" DAY 3

HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE DAY...

Day 2 ended with some stress that was put on myself but as I do out of habit, I fell off and had a comfort snack and beverage moment last evening before crashing for the night.  Not terrible but broke my stride after just 48 hours on board.  So, get back on the horse, go another day and learn how to manage that stress, or guilt, or whatever takes you to that 'edge' and causes you to have a 'hiccup' in your progress.  It's not the end of the world, it's more a 'wake up' call that there are 'hiccups' in life that make you respond a certain way.  For me it is retreating to my 'comfort zone' and  while I know full well that is what I do in 'hiccups' I am going to have to experience it to overcome it, so I did and now I will find another way to manage that.  

I must say that as it was happening, I had a moment where my mind said "Val, go do the tredmill with some water"  And believe it or not, I really was motivated to do it for a moment too, but quickly talked myself out of it.  That is a hopeful sign for me, because now the next time this happens I know to move on the thought going through my head first, 'go do the tredmill'.  I'll be ready!

That to me is PROGRESS!

Day 3

Up at 6:15, training at 6:30 on the nose.  

Turned on my program and really got a "Pie in the Face" Revelation.  WOW!  But GREAT!

I am dealing with a scratchy throat today, stuffy head, and muscle aches but I am going to keep my 'sunnyside up' and move into my day with the faith that this too shall pass and I can make it through this day.

Today is Nov and Dec BDay Lunch with Consultants and I'm looking forward to that.  We're meeting at an Organic Mediterranean Restaurant called Nirvana's.  Awesome menu and a healthy lunch for sure.

Burned 315 calories this morning by the way and that brings my current calorie burn for the week to 945 calories with 3 more days to go.  While my core training burns this much in one hour, I am moving forward with progressive weight loss through home training, and then at a point where I am comfortable with the weight loss I have accomplished this way I will head back to Gabe to get to the Core of things once again.  I'm figuring likely January timeframe, giving me 5 weeks to do the first phase at home.  Gabe by the way is our trainer.  If anyone is interested in what he does and can do check out www.overcomeaverage.com, his own business located in Addison, Illinois.  (There you go Gabe, if you're reading a plug for you!)  I'm looking forward to getting back to him for that training, it's very hard but results oriented making you look your very best in a short time.

WHO KNEW?

So I'm training this morning and all of the sudden I hear on TV that we need to be prepared for God to work within us, before we reach our purpose, goals, and dreams!  Yes we need the vision, but guess what?  We may not be positioned to carry it out if we have junk inside of us.  For instance:  Using a habit of Comparing Yourself to others as a measure of your goodness, worthiness or trust worthiness...

They used the example found in John 21 where Peter is asked 3 times if he loves the Lord and Peter says, "Of course I do Lord, I love you more than anyone..."  Basically Peter is saying without saying "I'm better than other's"   Like noone could love the Lord more than he, can.  In a way he is drawing comparisons between he and the other disciples here.

I soon realized that I do that as well.  I draw comparisons, and reason out why I am different based on those comparisons all the time!  

Holy Schmoley...who knew?
So while I thought this "All About Me" moment might be a selfish moment, my revelation today is that it is a cleansing time for me to look at what I am all about, my motives, desires, and clean the junk out of me to truly be the best I can be, moving into a more humble spirit that is ready to move forward with a purpose!!!  I love it!


Just like the 'TREE' so are 'WE'  OR rather am "I"
The trees are full of beautiful foilage in summer which in fall lose all that beauty...outside beauty, that is made stronger for the next season with sap that is running through it when all we see are a bunch of branches.  In Spring once again the beauty, more full and lush returns ready to shade us and comfort us and remind us that God does take care of his creation.  So goes it with me.  I am in that 'sap' season and am being fed to be the best I can be.  These are the silent times when God gets to work on me so I can be what it is I need to be to make my dreams come true and give the glory back to Him!


Look out world...I have a dream!!!

It' just Val, Caio!

"All About Me" Day 1

MY FIRST 'ALL ABOUT ME' DAY

Write Your Dream and Plan Down

• Communicate
• Commit
• Believe!

It's time.  I am flipping the switch today and taking care of me.  I am at a chapter in my life where my goals, dreams, and desires will only come true, IF,  I take the time out now to take this step.  'All about Me' may sound selfish and hypocritical to what I believe but when you are a people pleasing approval seeker, as I am,  it is the very opposite of selfish and hypocritical, and the first step to a new healthier ME.

Today I am taking the 4 steps to moving forward:

1. Write my dream down and a plan:  Proverbs 29 says 'with a plan you can accomplish your goals' (paraphrased) my way.

2.Communicate: Let my family and friends know I am taking this time for me and it is necessary to be the best I can be.  I will ask for their support, not for their management over my plan but for their cheering me on to victory with their love, support and encouragement.

3. Commit: Psalm 35 says 'commit your way unto the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this

4. Believe: Start looking at my dream and goal believing how reachable it is.  Believe for what isn't as if it is RIGHT NOW and I will reach it!
5. Begin...

My Dream and Plan

My dream is to be the best I can be in this life and to carry out a purpose that is MY purpose in this life.  I am a person of great faith, I love the Lord there is no doubt that He has a purpose for me to carry out.  His purpose for me is to give back.  I can only give back if I have something to give.  Therefore my plan is to move myself into position to give back.  This will take a Personal dream and plan first, so that is where I'll start.

Personal: To get in the best physical and mental shape I can be in without being obsessive and keeping it naturally part of my everyday life.  Today is 6 months until Bob and my 13 year anniversary.  I plan on reaching my physical goal on that day, celebrate with a trip and vacation, having business in a  position that can be managed so we can get away.

Plan

• Training: 6 days a week  (weigh in monthly: June 6th is my target) * my weight goal is private
• Eating: Normal foods and managing my portions (bad carbs and sugar will be eliminated)
• Devotion and Prayer: 7 days a week 
• Take a day out for Me every other week to do things like hair, nails, etc 
• Buy one thing for me a month
• Give something to someone in need once a week 
• Date night with my husband once a week
• Girls Nite Out once a month

Communicate

A letter to my Family and Friends

To My Family And Friends:

I am taking this moment that I am calling my  "All About Me" moment to make some healthy lifestyle changes for Me.  Please understand that in order for me to be the best I can be I must do this.  It will be good for everyone.  Please forgive me if there are times over the next several months that it seems I'm not always meeting your needs.  Please believe in me and for me to succeed at my plan and goals.  Thank you for loving me enough to understand, appreciate and support me during this time by being my biggest cheerleaders, walking beside me, not trying to lead, control or manage my plan.  Thank you for letting me do this and being here for me through it.  I love you all very much and really need your support now.  Thank you!

COMMIT

Today, December 6, 2010 is the beginning of the next season of life for me.  It starts with a healthy lifestyle change.  I commit to see my dream come true and follow through on my plan that I have layed out here today.  I will do this daily, weekly and monthly from now through June 6, 2010 and will continue to be accountable in this blog sharing the good and bad to be an encouragement along the way to myself and others.

BELIEVE

I am ready, willing and certainly able to exercise my faith in both the Lord and myself,  and follow through.  I will not let the world and any negative comments or otherwise sad remarks sway me away from  believing that I am meant to be anything less than the best I can be in my personal life and business.  I will succeed 110% at achieving what I use my faith to put into action!  

BEGIN

Look Out World, I have a Dream!!!

It's Just Val, Caio!

FLIPPING THE SWITCH

IT'S TIME TO FLIP THE SWITCH

How many of us wallow away in 'when is it my time' mentalities helping everyone else but yourself?

You're the type of person that puts everyone's needs before your own, likely you are truly wanting to make everyone happy, but also it is somehow either filling a void you have, or somehow making you think you'll be more loved, accepted, or even remembered when you're gone for what you do. While that's a good trait, you have to take care of YOU too, and sometimes that means for awhile it's 
"All About You!"


Life is so precious, and moves so fast, IT'S YOUR TURN, Your ALL ABOUT YOU time to enjoy it!

Don't feel guilty.  In the end, on the other side, you will come out a Winner and everyone will love seeing you Happy, Content, and still plenty to give others too.

Stop the Insanity of thinking it's only "what can I do for others"  and remember to take of YOU so there is a YOU to take care of others.  Everyone will get used to the new you, they will understand, just do it!  For once, let others support and cheer for you, it's OK.  This is your time, go for it. Make the decision today to live life to it's fullest starting by taking care of YOU! 

Thanksgiving weekend has given me: Food for thought, A new leaf to turnover, and Sky is the limit opportunities, It's time to make my Dreams Come True.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT...

It's been 4 weeks since I ended my 4 day juice fast and detox. At the end of that detox phase, I celebrated the fact that I stuck to it and made it happen.  I really didn't have a goal past that for myself.  Well I did commit to a goal at the gym for the last quarter of 2010, but I realize I wasn't in the right mindset to be passionate about it.  It was so obvious that even Gabe, our trainer, knew I wasn't committed.  At my last training session he slid down on the mat while I was streching and said  "So Val, what's it gonna take to get serious *or something similar*"  I was moved by the reality that I had truly been wasting my time and his over the last few weeks.  Shortly after that reality hit me, I missed a day of training and finally showed up and suspended training all together due to accepting that major stress levels in various aspects of my life were skewing my focus on ME, and I felt the best choice was to take a break from training until resolution was reached in those areas.  


Don't we always think...
"Oh I'll keep up the training, I can do this, I just need a break"  Well not always as easy to execute.

My stress levels and the decision I made to deal with them, have resulted in the return of bad eating habits, less working out, and a stalemate in positive forward movement towards any resolution. 


When stress bears it's ugly face at me I immediately go into paralysis mode on everything other than the area that is causing stress.  I focus and work to resolve, relieve, or in other words, bring closure to the area that is pressing on me.  I live in the moment of stress completely,  I combine working through it with prayer, and dealing with the reality of it.  Truth is, without letting go and realizing I can't control this on my own, it is an exercise in futility for me.  

While 'stress' is not healthy, this mode I go into seems to give me this false confidence in thinking that I am doing my best to gain control and resolve in the most expeditious manner possible.  It truly is a form of worry, even though I am praying through it.  It's an unhealthy level of worry and stress. Biblically I know we are told not to worry, and look at me!

In the end, does worrying change anything?  No but tell my heart that!

An interesting part of this journey for me is that the adventure down this new highway in my life also takes my thoughts and converts them into holigrams in my mind.  Those holigram thoughts continue to validate that I want to keep going down the highway that will take me to where I can be the best ME there is.  I call it the "It's All about Me" journey of health.  

This crossroad I am at today comes with Choicepoints!  
Choices - Choices, it's so hard, can't the choice just be easy?


TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF...
  
Choicepoints in life are good if we take on a healthy approach at making the right choice of course.  

I am on the brink of a choicepoint...

Turning over a new leaf must come with passion, honesty, and focus, a truly "All about Me" choice that compliments the journey down this new life highway. In order to get to the point of making a choice I have to consider this:  I am paralyzed in stress, do I want to stay here,  OR do I choose to face the reality that this may not be the healthiest path for me.  I naturally go into my self analysis mode in considering how successful I've been at my current approach.  I'm reminded of something a friend  of ours shares at moments like this.  His question resonates deep within me right about now, it goes something like this...

"How's that workin for ya, Val?"   

And I must fess up: (considering where I'm at), 

IT'S NOT!

MY Choicepoints

The choices I have are clear...
Continue down this Highway to Hell, and let stress rule my life, debilitating me, which it is already in certain ways.
OR
Choose to turn over a new leaf, flip a switch, refocus, and fight back?

I actually preach "just flip a switch" to my own family at times like this, so this is my moment to prove it works, right?


Flipping a switch is obviously best done, (for me), by first, trusting that God's path as my life's highway is a better choice, and believe that all will work out for the best, that there is a greater purpose and it will result in something far greater than I could ever make happen on my own, or imagine.  Speaking of trusting God, trusting Him is biblical wisdom, no? 


Romans 8:28 tells me that all things work together for good to those who love God, who; or that in all things God works together with those who love him to bring about what is good...(I am not always good with this verse btw :)


THE SKY'S THE LIMIT...

“There are times that we need to sit back and stop trying to be in control. It can be a futile, frustrating battle. Inner peace comes when we accept that it is God who is in control and understand that the... best course of action for us to take is to just relax and go with His flow.” (someone said this, but I can't remember who)

"Be True to Your Heart And Your Dreams Will Come True. 
Stay true to all your beliefs and goals. 
Stand tall..Through all life's setbacks and disappointments, 
and your dreams will come true."

(To Debra's poem below, I would only add that my faith is huge in achieving my goals and dreams. I have a Father who cares more than anyone can, it's HE that is with me every step of the way: I have claimed Jeremiah 29:11 as my verse!)  BUT, we do have make the choice, and in doing so we set our destiny in motion...

~ Debra Ruegg-Jenkins ~  
 
"When no one else is with you,
and no one seems to care,
just whisper to yourself,
"I am the controller of my destiny.
It's up to me what comes to pass,
and if I keep my thoughts positive and strong.
my dreams will come true."

When what seems to be impossible obstacles
stand in your way, just think of all the times
you got through yesterday.
There is a place for you in this world.
Stay on your chosen path.
All the power is within you;
be true to what is in your heart.
Be honest within yourself;
if you are, then you cannot fail.  Your dreams will come true."
 
And My Choice Is?...
Turn over a new leaf!  I choose to get back on course.  Let go of stress and trust that all will work out the way it's meant to and I can do nothing better than to get back on God's path by taking care of ME.  I am ready to move forward and continue on this Ride down Life's Highway.  I know this is my time, I feel it and I will only succeed!

So it's time to regroup, set goals, dream it, write it, commit to it, believe in it, work at it, and achieve it!
  

My turning over a new leaf moment, starts today, juice fasting this week, combined with reasonable workouts, and return to clean eating and training following that, I am in 'sky is the limit' mode and my choice is to take the path to accept nothing less. 

In my life I have had many dreams, several of them have come true. 
Now it's time for the rest of the dreams to come true!  The Sky is the Limit!!!  

Watch out world, I have a DREAM! 

A Chritmas Leaves When Dreams Come True 

by William S. Phillips

 It's just me, Val!  Ciao

A Gift ...Overcoming Fear - A Fresh Start

A GIFT...

Saturday I joined my mother-in-law at a lady's event held by her church.  What a great time we had.  Vendors were setup throughout this enormous facility and thankfully I managed not to spend too much, though very tempting.  I did get some unique Christmas and Birthday gifts for family checked off my list.

 . 

Lunch was the next item on the venue and it was DE-LICIOUS!  The Women's Committee catered in from a great Italian Cuccina, wonderful salad covered with artichoke, black olives and parmesano, baked mostoccioli,  Italian bread, and for dessert a great chocolate cake cut into brownie size slices with in fact, a brownie consistency.  

Yummy all the way down!

The highlight and the best gift of the event, if I may say, was listening to Ms. Valorie (*my name, it has to be good :) Burton, a published author, just completing her 6th book, and a personal life coach. 

A note before I tell her story...on my way there Saturday, I actually asked God to speak to me through the speaker, I didn't know who, as I have been pretty stressed and down lately.  He came through, as He only can do!  He not only spoke to me through her but He knew the very point I needed to hear from Him, the very point that would get my undivided attention.  "Finding Your Purpose, In Life"   

Valorie shared practical coaching advice with great examples from her life that led to her zoning in and finding "God's Purpose for Her Life".  Some of the stories she shared were humorous of course, but very pointed and telling.  For instance, did you know FEAR is one of the biggest reasons we miss God's purpose for our lives?  

She led us into a story that shared how fear can hold us back.  I'll paraphrase her story here, (Valorie if for some reason you ever read this, forgive me if I miss something here.) 

 

Overcoming Fear 

...at the Portapotty - "GO-oN Now, Get!"

The story goes that when she was small her family went on a trip with her grandmother.  They came to a point where Valorie felt an overwhelming need to find a restroom.  So her dad stopped at what ended up being a portapotty...(I forget what state this was in but certainly as I share the rest, it wasn't a state you would find this next encounter normal at all.)  

Valorie got out of the car and went to the front of the portapotty which was facing the other way.  As she rounded the corner, right in front of the doors of the portapotty, she encountered none other than a MOOSE!  A HUGE MOOSE...she said it was much larger than a horse.  So she slowly backed up, turned and ran back to the car. 

At the car, she shared with her family that she didn't need to go as badly as she thought she did.  

Her family asked her what happened and she told them of the encounter with this MOOSE, at which point her 'southern', North Carolina bred Grandmother exclaimed 

"A Moose?"  Then directed her to come with her and headed right back to the portapotty with Valorie in hand.  

When they rounded the corner there stood that MOOSE right in the same place in front of the doors and her grandmother walked right up to it, looked in it's eyes, pointed outward and said "GO-oN, Now GET!" and that Big HUGE MOOSE humbly put it's head down, turned and slowly retreated, at which point Valorie rushed into the portapotty as did her mom before that MOOSE returned!  LOL  too funny...a lil grandma can tell a big ole MOOSE what to do and it listens to her as 'authority'.

Her point with this story is that too often we let fear, just like that Big Ole MOOSE, hold us back and takeover, instead of facing it we run.  Only problem is we don't have a fearless grandma to take over and pave the way for us as Valorie did that day.  

Or do we?  

...In Storms of Life

In his book 'Fearless,' Max Lucado shares that "Fear may fill our world, but it doesn't have to fill our hearts."

You don't have to be well versed in the bible to know about the incident of the Storm that hit while the disciples were out in the boat with Jesus:

The disciples were over wrought with fear while Jesus just slept in the back of the boat.  Instead of realizing His authority, they questioned his character..."don't you care?"  Of course we know that Jesus stood up and commanded for the storm to cease and it did.

Max shares that Jesus commands us "Don't be afraid" 21 x's, He commands us to Love God and our neighbor 8 x's...thus Max suggests,  "if quantity has anything to do with it", Fear is an issue He wants US to address and make sure we know the authority we have over it.  

Fear can hold us back, squash the joy right out of our lives, cause health issues and many other debilitating things for us.   

Max goes onto share: "Fear sucks the life out of the soul, curls us into an embryonic state and drains us dry of contentment."  "When life spins wildly, we grab for a component of life we can manage: our diet, the tidiness of a house, the armrest of a plane, or in many cases, people.  The more insecure we feel, the meaner we become.  We growl and bare our fangs.  Why?  Because we feel cornered"  "Fear turns us into Control Freaks."

Max shares this story: "Martin Niemoller documents an extreme example of this.  He was a German pastor who took a heroic stand against Adolf Hitler.  When he first met the dictator in 1933, Niemoller stood at the back of the room and listened.  Later, when his wife asked him what he'd learned, he said, "I discovered that Herr Hitler is a terribly frightened man."  "Fear releases the tyrant within."

A FRESH START...

Did you know that Faith is the opposite of Fear?  I didn't either!  Never thought of it that way before.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

We do have authority over fear!  

As Valorie shared, we need to inherit her grandma's faith and confidence, an authority over fear!  Just look that fear right in the eye (just like grandma!) and say...

"GO-oN, Now GET!"  

Remember how that MOOSE responded to her grandma.  

Fear will respond to your authority over it, as well.

I'm all about a "Fresh Start"...

I want to put my faith in action and let loose a "GIANT" within me.   

I have always depended on my faith and have even experienced the awesomeness of a "Great Faith."  It never has failed me.

Join Me, if you care to, On this Ride Down Life's Highway

Just sayin...

It's Just Val, Ciao!


http://www.valorieburton.org/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgkTeSdiWzs

http://www.maxlucado.com/fearless/

Live Like You Were Dying

Living Life To It's Fullest...

I mention in my "About Me" profile located on the sidewall of this blog, that I am a people pleaser by nature.  This is so true.  What motives cause one to be like this.  I think life baggage is a culprit.  Baggage like:

• Approval Addiction caused from being ridiculed in life
• Fear of Abandonment caused from loss of loved ones through divorce, death and other ways
• Rejection and hurt in general caused by those of us who experienced the "clickish clan" of life, leaving us with a feeling that we weren't good enough or that we didn't make it on their....."A" List of friends
• Self Absorption leading to a "What about me?" mentality.  Many try to build a different image as a result of not feeling accepted for who you really are.

Truth is these 'causes' are actually just  part of life...all of us will have some experience like this and have to learn how to cope. How we cope and move forward truly shows what we're made of.

Is There A Problem?

In my humble opinion, 

(I know you didn't ask for my opinion, however you're choosing to read the blog)

A problem seems to be that many of us have not learned how to cope and deal with life, and instead, we begin to build walls of protection in defense. Maybe...Walls of Protection can be a coping mechanism and reaction, but not the best solution? 

In my life, I'm convinced...

Walls of Protection cause an adverse affect on our character, and ultimately our relationships. (Thank God for tolerant friends :) 

Maybe one's wall of protection takes the form of becoming defensive, callous, overbearing, and/or controlling.  Another form seems to go the route of becoming self destructive in some sort of way "pointing the pain at ourselves", adding more pain in the end to what we're feeling to begin with.  (Maybe we begin to seek approval from others by becoming "people pleasers")

Oddly enough if everyone is happy around me, then it is less stress for me, thus I find comfort and peace there. Problem is that you can't please everyone, thus this is an endless cyle of self infliction of pain and hurt in many ways, due to over expectation of others. 

Seems like many who haven't learned to cope with life's challenging experiences or have decided it's too much to deal with seem to have a wall of protection that takes another form.  Keep busy.  The busier life is the better, their minds don't shut down, life stays busy, one project after another.  Others may opt to turn to their drug of choice in the form such as nicotine, alcohol, or drugs to shut their minds down and relax.  

In my life, my Wall of Protection goes from people pleasing resulting in hurt, to approval addiction resulting in more hurt and then anger, to finally lashing out verbally or disposing the relationship, and so on down the path of self destruction. I end up coping with life most by comfort eating, shopping, or another form which really doesn't solve my problem long term. Then I turn to my faith and for me life stabilizes and I am able to cope with negative experience once again...UNTIL I relax on that, and then it all creeps back in, like some kind of demon...arghhhh!

So What Are You Suggesting?

Well, I'm not suggesting that if you aren't coping well, you're not good at life!

I am only suggesting maybe, if we identify with any of these negative coping mechanisms,  we need to take a deeper look at the cause, and embrace  a healthier alternative beginning with possibly even the need to forgive ourselves and others that we may be holding back forgiveness of as well.  Maybe this will open up a door that will ultimately lead to a healing process.

Just sayin-just thinkin

It's just me, Val

Caio!

A Lesson Learned the Hard Way

Here's a joke someone shared with me today...as funny as it is meant to be, this happens to us in real life...

we forget and end up on the wrong path because we just aren't getting it!

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. 

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. 

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." 

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift,
liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.  She even had someone
come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! 

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.  

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home,
she was killed by an ambulance. 

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the 
ambulance?" 

God replies: "I didn't recognize you."   

_____________________________________

MAYBE TIM MCGRAW CAPTURES WHAT I'M BEGINNING TO SEE AS A BETTER WAY TO LIVE...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8 

Live Like You Were Dying

By: Tim McGraw 

He said I was in my early fourties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days lookin' at the x-rays
and talkin' 'bout the options
and talkin' bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in and
this might be the really real end
I said how's it hit ya
when you get that kinda news?
Man what'd ya do?
and he said 

CHORUS
I went sky diving i went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds
on a bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said some day I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying 

He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend
a friend would like to have
And all ‘a sudden going fishin'
Wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost
my dad
Well I finally read the good book
And I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all
again…and then 

I went sky diving i went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds
on a bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said some day I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying like tomorrow was a gift
and you got eternity to think about what'd you do with it.
what did you do with it.what did I do with it? what would I do with it? 

Sky diving i went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds
on a bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said some day I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying