Relationships And The 2012 Election

Do you agree with the thought, if there was anything that could set off fireworks it's Politics, Religion and now Gender Rights, although we don't hear much on Male rights we sure are seeing bombshells fly when it comes to other's rights. (ha! bombshells, in the 50's that was the sign of a beautiful women, now a days women are aghast by any title like that, funny.)

What has happened to the U.S.A.?  It's sad, really no other word describes it for me.

I've never seen our nation more split.  I watch as friends post their take on the election from the conservatives and liberals to the moderates and libertarians.  The views are so diverse yet so narrow.
If you're a conservative then likely your moral values and faith along with your personal needs guide many of your issues and judgement.  If you're a liberal the opposite is true, OR they too have strong moral values for their own lives but believe that there is no purpose or right in imposing the way they choose to believe on others and so they advocate choice and freedoms BUT they do have a limit...the choice and freedom has to fall into their box of what is right or else it's not correct.  Another words the freedom to choose is conditional in an odd way, Hmmm...

I don't have a corner on what is right or wrong and I'm the last one who should be judging.  I do know that others think I'm over the top, and even use the terms naive' and ignorant when they see what I'm concerned with.  I have thought for a very long time there seems to be a double standard when it comes to the far left and the media. They seem to be more comfortable with bashing or pointing out where they feel the other side is wrong rather than sticking  to discussing solutions.  They likely feel the opposite is true and maybe they're right, this is just an observation.  And then there are the ones that believe there is a conspiracy out here and we're all wrong.  Ok then.

I know this blog will give me grief but good or bad it is what I feel.

I wish everyone would respect each other's views, stop spinning the truth and be willing to admit a wrong, or even a lie when it comes to their party of choice.  Oh they will call you out, correct you, and to be fair, you may even correct yourself, but the same doesn't seem to be reciprocated. No, in fact it just seems to then further the bashing and pointing out where you're wrong.  Do we take this so far as to damage friendships over it.  I've been reading more and more about this, and have seen it happen among friends as well.

Why can't everyone see the best in everyone, know there are two sides to every story and that noone is better or has the corner on what is right or wrong for the other?

My business is suffering under the current administration and that is going to influence my vote.  Another voter has health problems with no insurance and that is going to influence their vote.  Another voter lives an alternative lifestyle and that is going to influence their vote and so on...

We all have choices we need to consider and noone is going to be the perfect choice, just as noone has a guide on who the perfect choice is for anyone but themselves.  Many independents are without  an idea of who they are picking and are hoping the debates clear that up and help them to come to the best choice for themselves.

The arguing, bickering, meanspiritedness is crazy wild.  It doesn't matter if you made a choice to stick to your own point of communicating be it Facebook and your timeline or Twitter or even Pinterest.  Everyone is out to put down the views they don't agree with, or correct what they believe needs correction with or without all the facts.  It gets exhausting.

My hope is that after November 6th things will settle down and everyone will return to some form of normalcy however that won't happen without a determination to accept others views, they do have a right to them. Debating is a route to take but don't take it so far that it puts a wedge in your friendship and THINK before you speak or post or tweet.  Words can hurt and scar, is it really all worth it just to be right?  We're probably wrong if we think it is.

Monday is the last debate, then we have 2 weeks and 1 day left till the election...I hope and pray that America can accept the results no matter who wins and restore relationships that have been damaged through much of a political baiting carefully and strategically executed by party committees messaging, along with media trying to swing a bias view and causing havoc and conflict in relationships that get sucked up into it all.  I hope you're as tired of being a pawn to all of this as I am.  I pray you don't find this a sport or fun.

Anyone that thinks they're immune to it all, unless you have remained silent throughout these campaigns and been smart enough to stay out of it all, are denying they are also getting sucked into the political vacumn which is causing this mess.  We've all hurt someone through this and that isn't right, yes, that, is a definite, it isn't right.  Relationships are too important to allow your political views or your distaste with another's views to create wedges between you and another.  Maybe it's time we step back from the political ring and evaluate what's more important, getting your point of view across, bashing, trying to prove another wrong, or the relationship.

I'm banking on the good character of everyone and all the political broohaha will fade away for the sake of relationship.

It's just me, Val, (just sayin)!  Ciao'

The 2012 Gen'l Election and YOU

Voter-fessional - To make a CHOICE to take off one's Rose Colored Glasses and close the book on biasness and bashing. Replacing it with professionalism and belief in yourself first.

This past week showed how to manage the challenge of multitasking Big Stories.  TV and Cable news networks got to show their ability of balance and reporting on multiple high profile news items.  Not only did the week kick off the GOP Convention but it was projected to be  in danger of cancellation due to the threat of Issac, the latest tropical storm expected to go Cat 1 or 2 Hurricane. For the safety of all the people and the delegates, a decision was made to postpone the convention by one day.


Many GOP constituents were likely feeling a 'not fair' attitude creeping into their spirit but quickly doused with thoughts of Katrina and the devastation that resulted from that hurricane.   A hurricane hitting it's projected target is nothing to cry foul about, or tempt fate with.

I happen to be encouraged by the nominees for this election and was looking forward to weighing in on potential Presidential abilities, this convention being the first phase.  I also was one of those that felt a let down over the convention delay but quickly bounced back prior to the start in light of reflection on human lives and the importance of focused concern for those in ISSAC's path.  You see not only is Katrina historical but this week was the exact week it hit.  My nephew also lives smack in the target as it was clear this hurricane would make landfall in NOLA.  I had to focus on the art of multitasking news worthy reports while the convention determined to start began on the following day, which would be the eve of ISSAC making landfall.  I can't imagine how stretched the networks and cable were trying to cover it all.
That being said they did and so did I.

I was moved by the speeches of all different ethniticities, while encouraged that my fear of the GOP not standing for the different races and middle class to poor was a false fear given the amount of diverse leadership that represented the GOP as noted by every network.  More governors and Senators of both Hispanic and African American than the opposing party.  They have their own constituents who count on them and proof of constituency's confidence is the fact that they voted them all into office.  One at a time gave a speech that was more moving than the other.  I felt much better.  You see my own personal crisis is my business this election.  As a small business owner, SBO, I'm struggling with the rate of growth and empathizing with other SBO's that are saddled with new regulations imposed by this administration from various avenues, and Healthcare Reform.  But I was willing to bite the bullet and concede to another 4 years if the fear that was being pounded into everyone's virtual head was found to be factual.  It wasn't and I breathed a sigh of relief.  The GOP will represent races of all kind, the middle class and the poor equally or better than the current administration.

My favorite parts of the convention were Ann Romney, Paul Ryan and Mitt.  They showed the care and love for this country that we expect.  They exemplified through sharing and video the love they have for their families and others as well.  (I loved the families coming up and sharing that Mitt Romney would drop everything for their ill children and come to visit, help and embrace each one of them.  MOST OF ALL he did this with NO PHOTO OPPS!!!  No cameras just geniune love and real care for their lives.  So much so that one of the men dying, named David, asked Mitt to help him with his will AND do his Eulogy, which in fact Mitt did.

Ann showed genuine high spirited energy and love as she took the podium and delivered a great verbal picture of what being a true Romney is.  It's family, loyalty, no pretentiousness, and a love for others that is bigger arms than most would have.  All this and she is dealing with Cancer and M.S.  What a great great women.

Paul Ryan was so down to earth and sincere it made you want to sit down with him at a table and just listen to his very clear cut plan stemming from a budget, what a fresh idea!  A Budget!  He spoke of refreshing things like policy that would build our economy and grow jobs.  Cut tax and spending and limit government, so our children and their children might not be burdened with a huge deficit to pay off after we're long gone.  And validated his care for Seniors, the sick and education.  Clearly he is a family man with a gift for creating and sticking to budgets.  On the social issues he gave you confidence that he would walk the walk and talk the talk of the policies that Romney would put into place.  There's something about this guy that grabs at your heart.

Mitt hit the homerun in my book as he delivered an engaging speech that promised a growing economy, 12 Million Jobs, a more rational way to gain healthcare without breaking the bank or our pocketbooks and a commitment to SBOs that I needed to hear.  True his presentation of his 5 point plan lacked content, but I wasn't expecting that this go round.  I believe that is for the debates and also for me to go to his website and read his plan which I have.  His foreign affairs knowledge was quite impressive and fell in line with what I believe to be the correct path.

Newt, The Romney Sons, Rubio, Portman, Bain Capital Partner w Romney, and more speech presentations were good as well.  But those I mention above were the ones I had been waiting to hear.

Now you can attack all you want.  I don't say they are perfect by any stretch.  I do say they present a far better plan with confidence than the opposing side does, and I believe with Romney's history he will deliver come hell or high water.

For those that care to debate comment on, however I'm not writing this to debate but rather to say if social issues are your key priority, you are far better off then I.  I must share that I do believe sooner or later if we remain on this course our country will tank and all the social issues that are being made the corner stone success points of an Obama Presidency will come tumbling down due to lack of funding.

As for the war on women?  I don't get it, see it or agree with the idea, so I won't speak to that as it remains a distraction for me.  I will say that as a woman, security in the economy, jobs and family are my top priorities this election. Rather than free contraception, I would rather my energy and money go to a crisis the business of Sex Trafficking, involving women and children.  I pick that because I am not concerned with who pays for mine or your contraception.  You see I always paid for my own even when broke.  I grew up on Aid for Dependent Children and couldn't wait to get off the government run program.  I hated being considered someone that was ''down and out". So I went out and got 3 jobs plus went to school.  I saw my mom who had not much to work with make ends meet.  I had values built in me that said working to pay your own way is the American Way.  While I realized we needed that type of assistance as a kid, I was embarrassed by it  Having St. Vincent DePaul deliver our Thanksgiving dinner to a family of three and eating alone in a basement apartment when not with extended family.  Having my school clothes be my Christmas Gift because it was where are money needed to go was not fun as a kid while watching everyone around me get wonderful gifts, but through that experience I learned by watching others that what I wanted was to be successful just like them.  I realized that I was in control of my destiny and I began to step out and look for opportunities to grow a career.  And I did just that!  I also grew my own business.  I didn't have a degree as I didn't have the money for college and have made as much as $240,000.00 in one year as an employee and for the 2nd time in my life I've built up a business.  So I am all for helping out the less fortunate but not for helping them stay in a zone of believing a lie, that they will never be anything more than what they are today.  I believe big government that feeds the middle class and below will do just that.  I know from my past how to fight back get away from relying on government programs. It's called living the American dream which start with believing in myself and charting a course.  America offers that to anyone who wants to jump on the Free Enterprise Course of life, I recommend it.  Someone said to me once "Wow Val that's compassion" and at first I felt very sad and asked myself "maybe I am lacking compassion" but quickly I realized that is all part of the lie.  It is compassionate to encourage the less fortunate to believe in themselves and what they are worth and go out and chart their course also, refusing to stay on government programs.  You can do it if you happen to be reading this blog.  Comment below if you would like to know how to get out of down and out.
There is one!

Do you realize that we can be so busy fighting and defending that nothing ever changes. Michael Moore, recently said he thinks we need to get used to saying "President Romney"!  What?  I don't believe that he said that?  Well he did!  Why would he say that, he's a huge liberal?  Well due to what he sees is America's lack of belief, confidence and increased apathy.  He's right, it's becoming a disease of this nation.  He goes onto say that Obama didn't deliver as he said he would and that has caused apathy and concentration to the extreme on bashing and contradicting the other side for fear of losing.  Fear is huge.

We do need change and it starts within us.  Yes, of course believe in who you feel is the most Presidential for what you believe is priority for your own life, but most of all believe in YOU and what YOU can accomplish on your own.  Don't give into the false securities of bashing the other side because you're afraid you'll lose the benefits of government funding. This is one country where you CAN be something, anything you want to be.  So go and BELIEVE YOU DESERVE TO BE SUCCESSFUL too!

"A Black Man's Point of View" by Lloyd Marcus

THIS speaks volumes to me, to his point and mine, it isn't a racial issue but it has been spun that way and that is a problem for me.  Oh and if you are wondering if this is factually from Lloyd Marcus?  I wondered too and so I did check that out and IT IS!

We are on the same page! http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/trojanhorse.asp

Had to pass this on...

A Black man's point of view.

By Lloyd Marcus

As millions of my fellow Americans, I am outraged, devastated and extremely angry by the democrat's unbelievable arrogance and disdain for We The People. Despite our screaming "no" from the rooftops, they forced Obamacare down our throats. Please forgive me for using the following crude saying, but it is very appropriate to describe what has happened. "Don't urinate on me and tell me it's raining." Democrats say their mission is to give all Americans health care. The democrats are lying. Signing Obamacare into law against our will and the Constitution is tyranny and step one of their hideous goal of having as many Americans as possible dependent on government, thus controlling our lives and fulfilling Obama's promise to fundamentally transform America .
I keep asking myself. How did our government move so far from the normal procedures of getting things done? Could a white president have so successfully pulled off shredding the Constitution to further his agenda? I think not.

Ironically, proving America is completely the opposite of the evil racist country they relentlessly accuse her of being, progressives used America's goodness, guilt and sense of fair play against her. In their quest to destroy America as we know it, progressives borrowed a brilliant scheme from Greek mythology. They offered America a modern day Trojan Horse, a beautifully crafted golden shiny new black man as a presidential candidate. Democrat Joe Biden lauded Obama as the first clean and articulate African American candidate. Democrat Harry Reid said Obama only uses a black dialect when he wants.

White America relished the opportunity to vote for a black man naively believing they would never suffer the pain of being called racist again. Black Americans viewed casting their vote for Obama as the ultimate Affirmative Action for America's sins of the past.

Then there were the entitlement loser voters who said, "I'm votin' for the black dude who promises to take from those rich SOBs and give to me."

Just as the deceived Trojans dragged the beautifully crafted Trojan Horse into Troy as a symbol of their victory, deceived Americans embraced the progressive's young, handsome, articulate and so called moderate black presidential candidate as a symbol of their liberation from accusation of being a racist nation.  Also like the Trojan Horse, Obama was filled with the enemy hiding inside.

Sunday, March 21, 2010, a secret door opened in Obama, the shiny golden black man. A raging army of democrats charged out. Without mercy, they began their vicious bloody slaughter of every value, freedom and institution we Americans hold dear; launching the end of America as we know it.

Wielding swords of votes reeking with the putrid odor of back door deals, the democrats landed a severe death blow to America and individual rights by passing Obamacare.

The mainstream liberal media has been relentlessly badgering the Tea Party movement with accusations of racism. Because I am a black tea party patriot, I am bombarded with interviewers asking me the same veiled question. "Why are you siding with these white racists against America's first African American president?" I defend my fellow patriots who are white stating, “These patriots do not give a hoot about Obama's skin color. They simply love their country and oppose his radical agenda. Obama's race is not an issue."

Recently, I have come to believe that perhaps I am wrong about Obama's race not being an issue. In reality, Obama's presidency has everything to do with racism, but not from the Tea Party movement. Progressives and Obama have exploited his race from the rookie senator's virtually unchallenged presidential campaign to his unprecedented bullying of America into Obamacare. Obama's race trumped all normal media scrutiny of him as a presidential candidate and most recently even the Constitution of the United States . Obamacare forces all Americans to purchase health care which is clearly unconstitutional.

No white president could get away with boldly and arrogantly thwarting the will of the American people and ignoring laws. President Clinton tried universal health care. Bush tried social security reform. The American people said "No" to both presidents' proposals and it was the end of it. So how can Obama get away with giving the American people "the finger?"  The answer:  He is black.

The mainstream liberal media continues to portray all who oppose Obama in any way as racist. Despite a list of failed policies, overreaches into the private sector, violations of the Constitution and planned destructive legislation too numerous to mention in this article, many Americans are still fearful of criticizing our first black president. Incredible.

My fellow Americans, you must not continue to allow yourselves to be "played" and intimidated by Obama's race or the historical context of his presidency.  If we are to save America , the greatest nation on the planet, Obama must be defeated.


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Last Resort from the Left - Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

America the Free, the Proud and the Brave...

I have only one thing in common with Ms. Sandra Fluke, gender,  I am a woman too.

I am NOT a fan of Rush Limbaugh, or any of the extreme radio, talk show or journalists/media hosts

I am not democrat nor republican, but rather an independent

I hate politics and any spinning that resembles it

I love comedy but find Bill Maher obnoxiously rude

I watch CNN, FOX and MSNBC to hear all views

I hate bashing, which is always what makes me sick over things like the newest media craze:

Rush Limbaugh and Sandra Fluke

The ruthlessness of crucifying the man while canonizing this woman as if she were a saint, (not that she is bad, but really?), could remind one of the Gladiators of old.  "Let's kick em till they're down, and applaud till the death with more attacks"

Where does all this double standard, hatred, and mean spiritedness stem from?

For me the answer is simple "the game of politics at it's best!".

Watching this play out, and getting involved in comparison sharing to temper bashing, is really an eye opener in realizing how much the left wants it's turn to strike and take advantage of the chance to 'kick' and even when the man tries to apologize and again apologize it's not enough and it's insincere, kick him again.

A list of some of those that have been kept from the wrath of the left and out of the Gladiator games:

Bill Maher called Sarah Palin the C word - no apology and no fallout

Anthony Weiner crossed the boundaries of integrity over his issues and lied to his constituency apology ONLY after he was caught on camera - no fallout

President Bill Clinton perjured himself over an affair with an intern and adulterous affair in his marriage and lied to the US and Supreme Court - no apology until caught on tape - no fallout

And the list goes on...

Rachel Maddow, Keith "what's his name" to name a couple more

SO!  

The last resort from the left, is their lack of response and willingness to admit that a double standard exists in the media/broadcasting arena and within the party itself. I guess they have a 'Love Story' going, and when you're blinded by love, well you know: Love Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry?  Seems to apply as long as the offender is of the same party. Oh and in one case at least, it doesn't hurt that they also gave $1M to their party's super pac..  Name calling and screaming foul along with accusing others of all sorts of untruths is acceptable as well.  Don't try to debate it, it's a mission that they are on and noone is going to stop them.

Truth is...it should never be acceptable, should always requires an apology and should be forgivable, without judgement.

Just because you're a comedian doesn't make it acceptable

Just because you're of the same party doesn't make it acceptable

And just because you don't require sponsors of ads to host your show doesn't make it acceptable.

To think, this is just the beginning of an election year.

People attacking others behavior; what about this, and yes I'm doing it right now?  

A sin is a sin is a sin! Noone is better or worse.  No matter which side you're on, the bashing and nonsense of thinking that calling out one side without remembering that you're own side is or has been just as guilty of similar issues, may be your right to do, but it doesn't make it, right to do.  The  mentality of my way or the highway is the same mentality that is keeping our elected officials lame duck. We can rise above this.

I realize we live in a free country where freedom of speech is our first amendment right, however...

This isn't some meaningless competitive sport, this is about people and their lives.  

It also isn't a judge and jury in a courtroom trying a murder case, nor is this a mob lynching.

This is America a great country with freedoms beyond any other, made up of great people.  

Shame on me and shame on you for the times we have got caught up in it all. 

Let's show the world now who America really is and how we can respect one another, forgive and move on.

It's Just Me Val, Ciao!

Who's On Unemployment Abbott/ Costello by Barry Levinson

Barack Obama explaining jobs and the economy,
By: Barry Levinson, of the HuffingtonPost. 

Enjoy!

 
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 9%...

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?

ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You
have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with
those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

COSTELLO: To who?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work...
Those who are out of work stopped looking.
They gave up.
And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of
the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles, that would count
as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise
it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment do ya?

COSTELLO: That would be frightening.

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means they're two ways
to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the
easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist.

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!

Now you know why nationally reported unemployment figures are improving, and you
should now understand the State of the Union .

2012 An Interesting Year for the U.S.

Election Year - 2012

I believe that America is a great place to live which was founded under the constitution by our forefathers One Nation Under God...with liberty and justice for all.  We are a great nation made up of millions of amazing people who have different beliefs and are free to walk the path they have chosen.

About me: I am a woman of faith.  That faith is as much a part of me and unchangeable as my DNA.  I don't impose my faith on others, but will share it.  I don't impose my core values on others, but will share them. If I believe something I'm going to stand up for it.  I am not perfect but will be when I get to heaven, so don't be confused with the timing and think that is now.  I analyze things to determine my own motives and thoughts along with just trying to understand the issue better for myself.  I don't do it to point a finger of blame.  I sometimes do think out loud and work through issues in the process.  I like to think that by the time I leave this earth I will have left a baby finger print in my own star and will be remembered for the good and not the bad.

Anyone who knows me, knows I hate politics and political agendas, rhetoric, spin and MOST OF ALL party bias 'bashing'.  Don't try to label me by 'party' because I have no party bias.  I used to be a democrat, I used to be a republican but now I am just Val and could likely not be labeled accept for more of an independent.

Red Flags: Spin politics, hidden agendas, leaders with true motives behind agenda items and timing all just for personal gain, BUT most of all I am saddened that we as American's buy this and find it acceptable.

Going into any election year is a two edged sword for America.  On one side it brings change and that can be good, but on the other side it brings out the worst in all of us.  DON'T KID YOURSELF, the politicians count on that, just listen to them and then watch the poster statements and photos go up on social networks.  Today I'm making a promise to myself.  I am determined to remember that God has a plan. (I know some don't believe, but I do, again not imposing my beliefs on you, if you happen to be reading this, but sharing.)  He is going to carry it out no matter who stands for who and/or what.  He already knows who will be presiding as President over the U.S. in January 2013.  It's not necessarily because they will be the best person for the job, but because there is a much bigger picture in God's plan, and that is what choose to focue on and  find peace in as the fight begins, and the outcome of this year's election comes upon the U.S.

My Vote will go to who I believe is best suited for the job.  But what is the job this next term?  In my eyes, the job will NOT require focus on social issues, They've had plenty of focus over the years, costing the country a fortune already.  The job is going to be about jobs, economy, and fiscal responsibility, but it is also going to be giving my vote to the person who stands for our constitution and not basterdizing that.

Here's my dream for America this election year:  Wouldn't it be a refreshing to have a candidate that exhibits honesty, integrity and has the potential of being a great leader with no intentions of personal gain or agendas?  If we had a candidate on the ballot for 2012, who would commit to this promise: "I'm in this for you, not for me and to prove this I ask to serve only one term AND following that term I relinquish any claim to pension, benefits and other personal perks normally received after leaving office" "I cannot and will not be bought."  

I know you're thinking "Val, you're crazy if you think that would actually happen, no one is going to step up and offer that!" 

I can dream, right?  I mean, no one can take my dreams away, right...or can they?

It's just me, Val ~ Ciao!

How's This Working For US America?

Duking it out over political views with friends and colleagues as well as those we don't know at all, do you find it bothersome? A good rule to live by is to stay away from engaging in and expressing your views as it relates to religion and politics.  Problem is there seems to be so much at stake for us personally that causes us out of desperation to passionately embrace 'duking' and 're-duking' our views.  I know for some this is fun, interesting and competitive in spirit but for me, it's gutt wrenching to see the emotions cut through to the quick. In so many instances I feel like politicians easily insult the intelligence.  Stands taken normally center around beliefs and fear of losing rights  but this election year seems to be different.  It's hugely based on economical slowdown and jobloss issues not improving, and balanced budgets and 'actual' numbers used in reporting things like 'unemployment', not working.  Social issues seems to have taken a backseat this year for many voters, even for the extremes.  

Timing is everything...

The POTUS now focusing on jobs and economy for the people vs. Corporate America, while that is in itself a good thing, it is disheartening that this type issues weren't given priority 3 years ago, for the people, not just Corporate America.

Then you have a Congress that is focused on the issues of balanced budgets and the like that also stymie their progress in passing anything.  It's all a gridlock and everyone is to blame, not just one side or the other.

In the meantime, the people of America get all sucked into their (the politicians) game of politics for what we all feel is in the best interest of the U.S. but if we all really look at the 'soul' 'core' reason, I'll give you 3 to 1 odds that it's just because we want to support our own party no matter what and it's not about the best person for the job anymore.

I think many voters are feeling this way, America is being led into voter personal attacks on one another in part by our politicians actions, words, and lack there of.  We are ripping into each other's values, belief systems and the like for the sake of ???   This is all supposed to be in the best interest of you and I, the U.S. Citizens and instead it's tearing us apart.  What is wrong with this picture?

While we're all so afraid for our party losing as well as our rights, we are raising our dukes and losing it all for the party's leaders sakes who are drawing us in.  We are making them all very rich people, if they weren't already, all sides.  

AMERICA, How's that working for US?

It's Just me Val, Ciao!

New Years Resolution "Have Fun"

Fresh Starts, New Road, Let Go, Promises Promises

Today being the first of 365 in 2012, is the day everyone firmly commits to 'do whatever it takes, pull out all the stops, and go after a goal, or two'.  Many actually do it and walk with their head held high, I have too.  This year is no different however I'm changing it up. I'm going to make it fun every step of the way.  It's a short list this year and a reasonable one:

1. Eat Healthy
2. Drink Lots of Water daily
3. Walk daily
4. Strength Train 2 days a week
5. Take a class
6. Write

Does anyone care?  Likely not....here is the change up:

So all this girl wants to do is make sure to reach my goals and have fun doing that!  

I'm on a bridge between youth and the golden years; FUN seems attractive as I cross it!  

I'm on a bridge on the road in life that goes only one way

If I mess this up there's a price to pay

Life can be boring or we can make it fun and sweet

Keep in mind, that which you sow; you reap

So 2012 you WILL be my friend

I commit to have fun in all I do to the very end

Off with protective shields, people pleasing and cares

I'm on a mission; I'll have FUN all the way "I swear!"

If this year throws me lemons, I'll use them for their zest

Add a little flavor to my life, and toss all the rest!

I'll choose my own moves...only the best will do

A little Jagger and swagger before I'm through

This game of life goes by way too fast

2012 You Are My Year

Crossing this bridge will be a blast!!!

Movin On Down My Highway

As I reflect on the past 12 months, I truly have so much to be grateful for...

A year filled with growth for our family and business.  When the economy and jobs have failed in such a serious way, God has blessed us richly with a peace this year that I haven't felt in forever it seems.  It's that "I know that I know" that all will work out kind of peace, and for our good.  One that has a natural joy attached to it.  Oh challenges for us have of course been involved but in all things we overcame and what's still challenging seems like a mountain that we can climb.  Really what a great year we've had even with the challenges.  What changed for me this year?

Quiet Time

I seriously made a commitment this year to do my daily quiet time, and maybe that is what brought on the level of peace I feel through my time just listening to that voice, for me it's God, for you it is whatever takes you to that serene place of peace and joy, hopefully on the same highway as mine, I wouldn't know.

Turning Over a New Leaf

I definitely experienced a new me transform as I walked down the highway of 2011.  It really began in the last quarter of 2010 when changes in relationships along my way just began and I was feeling odd.  I found this new book by John Bevere "The Bait of Satan" and it really did help me to see the other side of life in a way that helped me rise above what initially was painful offense.  Anyone who knows me well, knows my bend for analyzing every situation to death and I did, but this book helped me to view offenses as opportunities and to get to a point where you can describe the entire feeling in 5 words.  That's important because it stops that never ending cycle of rehashing painful times until you build walls of defense...sooner or later your walls grow so tall, long and wide that noone can break through them and you live alone with yourself in what you think is protection.  That's no way for anyone to live and this book helped me overcome the appetite for building walls and instead see things with a wide angled lens.  This opened up a whole new purpose for any relationship in my life and though offenses still come, I go back to the concept in his writings and remember to come up with the 5 words that best describe how  I am allowing myself to feel in this pain.  I can choose to talk to the person about it, OR in my case just coming up with the words, actually helped me to heal without having to go any further.  It was such a wonderful cure.  If you haven't read this book, I recommend it!

Fitting Into My Skin

Yes 'Fitting Into My Skin' is also something that has changed for me this year.  We all get older in age right?  Some of us stop midlife to have a 'crisis' while others try to just psyche ourselves out through various methods of having the mind meet the body in grace...makes me chuckle as I feel my way down this highway...it is a comical one to experience and watch as others 'tip toe' through the same 'tulips' I do.  I believe there is a freedom we get when we finally accept the chapter of life we're in and just 'fit into our skin' at that point.  My freedom is to enjoy watching others have their own kind of fun where they're at in life and not feel that I have failed if I don't feel like being a part of it.  No, instead I love this new chapter of my life.  It's like putting on a fresh new pair of glasses with 20/20 vision, acting my age, not too old and not so young, and still feeling like I'm living life to it's fullest.  Oh I know, 58 isn't old, but when you consider it's only 22 years away from 80 and how fast 20 years flies?  It gives you a whole new perspective on how far down the highway one is in life at 58. Nonetheless, I happen to love this age and all the freedom that goes along with it!

Letting Go

Absolutely the key and my faith framing 'letting go' has got to be mentioned here.  I have to be true to me, to God, to my husband, family and friends, BUT if I don't let go of past issues, worry, control, and all those things that can make you crazy, guess what?  I will go crazy!  I work daily at letting go of anything that is on my mind and letting God handle it.  A friend of mine once taught me to write your cares and worries on a small piece of paper, roll it up and put it in a bookcase.  Now it's God's to handle, don't go back to it.  I loved that but never could put it to practice.  Virtual has a whole new meaning for me this year as I virtually note any of my cares, and roll it up placing it in my virtual file for God to handle.  It seems to be working.  Am I tempted to revisit it, sure am, but I let go of that temptation each time.

New Hobby

I have a new hobby, I people watch...NO not stare, but rather I just now enjoy watching everyone walk down their highway of life and learn for themselves what works best for them.  Oh, I still will give my opinion if they are open to it, but I leave it there and I don't force my way on anyone anymore.  (now my husband might disagree with this, but I am still working on this when it comes to my own marriage :)  I'm not perfect at this by any means but I am keenly aware of the benefits this hobby has for living a longer life without worry so I work to achieve more and more of this skill in my hobby daily.

AND So...

I truly have so much to be grateful for...I have reconnected with so many family and friends through social networks and even had the honor of participating in planning and attending my 40th highschool reunion (Go Rough Riders!).  Our business is thriving through a jungle of economic downturn and turmoil, my marriage is getting more and more amazing every year, my kids are growing daily and really transforming into beautiful people.  And btw...when I say 'my kids' I include our daughterinlaw and soninlaw. AND...we just finished a fantastic vacation (1st for us in almost 5 years), met knew friends and hope to do a repeat with our kids in 2012!  Oh and even our animals, and we have a zoo here, are doing well.  (I must say...I will forever miss our Buff, for those that don't know, we had a beautiful baby golden that turned 'alpha' in our pack of 3 and we had to give her up to a great family.  I do miss you Buff!)  So now that I have gotten my eyes all watery after sharing how great our year has been, giving Buff away was the sad point of the year for me personally...think I better leave it here :)  

Happy New Year everyone!   Blessings to all of YOU in 2012!!!  

(Jeremiah 29:11 is a promise we have)

AND, in the words of our daughter..."Bring it on!" 

It's Just Me Val, Ciao!

Turning Offenses Into Opportunities

Do you get offended by friends easily.  Do you let the offenses mount up until you start to build a wall between you and the friend?  You're not alone and there's a better way to deal with this.

I am the type of person that can't squash an offense.  I have to talk it out, usually by myself in a form of chair therapy, or driving in the car (my eyes watching for cars driving up so they don't think I'm crazy talking to myself, handsfree phones help justify the lip motion)  OR I have to use a confidant, usually my husband to bounce my feelings off of.  And then I bounce it off of God.  Everytime I have done this, I have a heavy burden lifted off of me as I work through my own feelings and make sense of the offense.  And if it is multiple offenses from the same person?  Well then it just takes me abit longer to work through my own person and step outside to get a better glimpse of the situation.  

Recently I found this book by John Bevere "The Bait Of Satan" which deals with the issue of offenses in life.  

Bevere says (in a nutshell) Our lives are meant to be a vessel for the Lord to reach others.  We must get past the offense to leave that opportunity for the Lord to do His work through us.  

Bevere goes on to suggest that it's normal to become offended but important to get past it, even if you have to take a 30 day break from the relationship, and then come back, you must address it so it doesn't take root in that relationship and hurt it.  

The enemy uses offenses to take root in our lives and build walls between others, friend, relative, or whomever. (don't you find this to be true?  I do.  I have built several walls of protection in my life and all they do is block out one relationship after another)   

Bevere goes on to suggest that we need to get past all the offenses and narrow the issue down to 5 words that best describe what we're feeling, then go to the person and share from our heart without rehashing each incident.  

I had a friend once that changed their life around and they became very confident in themselves...good I guess.  Their delivery also changed and it really was becoming more and more offensive.  Before too long I had a long list that I rattled off to my husband that had occurred over a period of months and he looked at me and said "Wow, you're right, I hadn't thought about it in chronological order like that and when you put it all together, now I'm mad!"  I had managed to succinctly share the experiences that we had both been having in such a way that I soured him too.  "What Is Wrong With That Picture?"  

Well it was all true but I had been squashing the offenses for so long trying to get past it all that now I had a full chapter of a book with them in order and tainted that person's intent and delivery, even in another's impressions of them.  Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!!!  

This is not a productive way of handling offense.  I really took time to think through what was going on and I prayed of course and with the help of Bevere's suggestions, I narrowed it down to 5 words and erased each incident.  The 5 words?  "You made us feel disposable" 

Finding those 5 words was so freeing.  I was now able to see things from a different perspective.  I was able to let go of each incident and see things from their perspective.  Truth was they were in a new chapter of life and were swirling with excitement and fun and didn't even realize they were being offensive at all.  Have I ever personally addressed it, no but I have a good relationship with them once again and I am in a position to be there for them which is the goal.

There are ways we were taught in the past to handle these situations for instance in Henry Clouds book called Boundaries, we're taught to set boundaries and not allow them to be broken.  While this is a good idea for morals and values, I believe we have taken the Boundaries idea too far and have instead built walls.  The enemy uses those walls to harden our hearts.  Not Good!

Try this in your own life and let me know if it worked.  Think on what all the offense really is making you feel, narrow it down to five words, and if you have to, go to the person and explain it to them.  Sometimes that step is necessary to get back in relationship, so if that's true for you DO IT and don't wait.

People are human and make mistakes, almost always what's really behind it has nothing to do with us, but rather it is due to what turn their life has taken.

Mindfully keeping a thankful heart for everyone in my life, and using Bevere's suggestion to handle hiccups, I now am able to lift these situations up and ask for guidance on getting my 5 words down so I can tear down walls, and get out of the construction business for good!  It's Just Me, Val  Ciao!

Thankful Heart for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving means a turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and more made in love.
So many things to be thankful for and a few are of course our freedom and those that have fought to maintain that freedom.  Yes, thanks from our hearts goes to those wonderful service men and women.  Without them we would not have this wonderful land we live in, the United States of America.

Thanksgiving means time with family.  I've always dreamed of a family moment around the table saying one thing we're thankful for but in our family we miss much of that comfort level among many.  Thus there is a silent thank you across all hearts during grace.

Speaking of Grace?

Thanksgiving brings to mind what I personally am thankful for and I would have none of it without one very important mention.  My relationship with my Lord.

Such a bumpy childhood, But God
Such a challenge to make the grade in school, But God
Such a low self esteem in much of my adolescence, But God
Such an adjustment with transient homelife, But God
Such a void in furthering education for a career, But God
Such a miracle in the birth of my daughter Lyndsi Elizabeth, Yeah God!
Such a challenge in supplying our needs with my daughter as a single parent, But God
Such an answer to prayer in finding our first homechurch, Yeah God
Such a connection of friends in our first homechurch, Yeah God
Such an opportunity to do what I loved most, sing, Yeah God
Such an opportunity to reach young girls in our homechurch, Yeah God
Loss of job, But God,
Such a miracle I meet my husband Bob and now 3 children: Daughterinlaw and Soninlaw, Yeah God!
Loss of job, But God,
New job, Yeah God
Loss of job, BUT GOD!
Our own company, Integrity!  Whoduthunk?  Yeah GOD!

My life is full of God Moments,  how could I not be grateful? Thanksgiving Day is a day to be thankful for family, friends, health, and jobs...
BUT GOD!

It's Just Me Val, Ciao!

My Road Is Straight Ahead - So Why Did I Dream This?

This journey I'm on is all about a road to healthy living, with specific focus on lifestyle changes that promote healthy living and enjoyment in life.

I have a history of family life dysfunctionality just like 99% of anyone living on earth experiences.  Nothing remarkable but enough to affect your view of life in a remarkable way.  Several issues crossed my path while growing up; abandonment, divorce, poverty, single parenting, and loss, as well as allowing an oppressive spirit of low self esteem to take over until I recovered.

I found my sweet spot in recovery by digging into my faith and focusing on understanding 'me' and what made 'me' happy.  It was simple, I wanted the best things in life that 'can't' be bought.  Those things like a close and well connected family with a strong value for relationship.  Creativity is also something I have fun with and tap into.  Writing and blogging are my new hobbies that help me to express myself and work through the deepest darkest feelings so I always stay in a healthy frame of mind.

I've done counseling for years and am a big believer in the benefits of such an experience.  Now by myself I do self analysis (looking at the man in the mirror and being honest), couch therapy and journal to stay mindfully healthy.

One experience that dealt it's hand on my life growing up was abandonment.  I worked through the bad affects of that by using all of the above methods and thought I had it licked. I don't need to detail this but suffice it to say, it involved a 4 day period of time, my mom, me, and good neighbors.  In brief the event went something like this: Divorced single parent, feeling limited by responsibilities, escapes for short period of time to experience a level of singleness with no responsibility leaving a 12 year old behind to fence for themselves.  Today this scenario would be cause to call in child welfare, but in the 60's this was not something that was protected to the extent it is today.  Abandonment and fear were left in the aftermath.

So, I worked through it all.  I have for years been free of any of that event and the experiences affecting me to any extent that couldn't be managed.  Following all of that my mom died, 26 years ago.

Why then did I just last night dream of her missing in action and me as an adult in panic mode, and in my dream having an actual sense of what the outcome would be, like I was this adult, looking into a child's world and knowing what was going through that child's head.  Why in the world would I dream this 44 years later?  Maybe some form of closure?  Who knows.

Just 'wowed' by this dream and had to get it out here for comment. I know it's crazy, right?  Feel free to give your opinion.

It's just me, Val. Ciao'

People Pleasers and Hurt People, Hurt People

I am a known people pleaser, always wanting everyone to get along and enjoy each other together.  While that maybe a tall order to some, an exercise in futility to others, and idealistic and unrealistic, even over expectatious to a large group, I remain who I am and believe it can be accomplished if we will first put on a sensitive and appreciative spirit towards others.  

The challenge as it goes with people pleasers is that they are steady, supportive and encouraging UNTIL, we get hurt by the another person.  We then lash out in pain, and it seems to others that our reaction is a contradiction to who we are and is therefore often misunderstood.  

You see in a people pleaser's world we see things as temporal - tomorrow isn't just another day, we aren't promised tomorrow, so resolve and harmony is very important today, this hour, this minute, this second, because you may not get another chance.  In a people pleasers mind we don't want others to hurt and while that isn't always possible, then we will settle for resolve and quick resolve. "Why?" you ask.  Because you see a people pleaser knows what it is like to lose someone prior to making things right again.  That pain is so unrelenting for them, they live it out daily and therefore don't want anyone else to experience the same pain ever. 

When a people pleaser is hurt by someone, they will work to overlook or go to immediately resolve it.  If it keeps happening they will finally do one of two things "lash out, OR retreat"  I know it seems like a contradiction.  After all, other's DO have a right to feel their emotions, however they don't have a right to act out on those emotions in a way that hurts others.

I found this piece (See below) by a counselor named John Alston.  His article really hit home with me, and I wanted to share it for others that maybe also dealing with hurt.  Please take away from it what you need and give the credit to Mr. Alston.

It's just me, Val.  Ciao!

---

Hurt People, Hurt People
By John Alston
Dec 13, 2005, 10:36Hurt people, hurt people." In other words, people who hurt others with their actions and words are people who are hurting inside themselves! When someone lashes out at another person, they are expressing their hurt in a destructive and irresponsible manner. Feelings of hurt and pain are normal parts of everyday life. Therefore, it is important to find solutions to our problems that are constructive and responsible in order to enjoy the pleasures that life has to offer, as well.

Feelings never tell us what to do. They only tell us that something requires our attention. So negative feelings can play a positive role in our lives. We must put ourselves in control of the painful emotions rather than be controlled by them. The first step in taking control is to ask the question, "What is causing these feelings?"

Sometimes the cause of the feelings is from recent events-job loss or health decline. Other times, the cause is a manifestation of negative emotion from long ago-unresolved issues of adolescence. Take the time to ask the question, think, and seek answers. This is important whether you are the one who is angry or the one who is on the receiving end of an angry person's wrath.

If you are angry and find yourself hurting others, here are some things that should help you deal with your feelings in a more constructive way:

1. Be mindful that you are entitled to the full range of feelings that life has to offer, one of which is pain. Make up your mind that you are not entitled to hurt others with those feelings. It is normal to feel pain. It is unacceptable to inflict it.

2. Take note of what makes you want to act ugly, sullen, and resentful. Is there a pattern? Do your assumptions about people and life need adjustments so that you're not so upset by (often unrelated or minor) irritants?

3. Remain current with your feelings and needs. Don't put off taking care of yourself. Feel pain, acknowledge it, and search for solutions. Reactions that are solution-oriented help you find good ways to deal with hurt.

4. Change you attitude about hurt. This allows you to avoid hurt in the first place. By this, I don't mean you should avoid things that make you feel bad. Adopt a personal policy not to let negative emotion control you. When you decide to take control, pain can't fester into an uncontrollable monster.

5. Don't choose the pain. I hate to say this, but some people hurt, because they choose to hurt. They decide that something is worth suffering over and believe that they need to "dwell here now." That's not to say that you should no longer discriminate between right and wrong. However, be more discriminating about that on which you're willing to expend mental energy.

6. Approach people and situations with patience and understanding. This causes you to slow down and act less impulsively. Imagine that a child spills milk at the table and an adult goes bonkers. The adult hasn't stopped to think about the fact that when children are growing up, the latter are clumsy at different developmental stages by nature, and that the spilt milk was not intentional or the result of laziness.

7. Look for non-destructive ways to express your anger. Being current, as previously mentioned, is one way. Others include, but are not limited to, taking slow deep breaths, biting your tongue, holding in your stomach, counting to ten, meditating, contemplating and praying. All of us do better when we control our impulses when expressing anger.


If you're someone who finds yourself in a hurt person's line of fire, you need some tools to manage their feelings as well as your own. Some options include:


1. Let them vent. Listen to their frustrations before you speak or act. Never interrupt, because until you hear their story, you know nothing. Find out as much as you can about the source of their pain and you'll know why they're angry.

2. Assess your level of responsibility in causing their pain. If you are directly involved, take responsibility and make things right. However, often you will find that you are not the target or cause of the pain. If you were just in the right place at the right time, don't take it personally.

3. Adopt an attitude of forgiveness. Try to understand that when people are hurt, they don't always think clearly and they say things that they don't really mean. It's easy to be consumed with reciprocal anger, so avoid the urge by forgiving them.

4. Be mindful of how you respond to them. The goal is to make things better, not worse. Sometimes they just want someone to acknowledge their pain. You can do so by saying something like, "I don't know just what to do to help you right now, but I want you to know how sorry I am about this."

5. Take control of your own feelings. Don't give up your power to them by allowing their words to control the way you respond. Their pain, even when directed at you, does not define you.


Hurt people can only hurt others if allowed to do so. With adults, know that you can judge the size of a person by the size of the things that they allow to make them angry. Yes, we've all had initial feelings of hurt as the result of others' actions and words. But, when we take a moment to really look at the situation, all of us have the power to draw the line and refuse to accept another's hurt.

Remember that people say and do boneheaded things from time to time without thinking. People forget, lose their tempers, underachieve by our standards, break promises, cheat, lie and do other things that disappoint us. Make allowances for people's differences. Human beings make errors. Values amongst us are varied. If you keep your standards very high, you are subject to be more sensitive around people with low standards. If you have low standards, you will feel offended and slighted by those who have high standards. That said, the bottom line is this: when someone is hurting someone else, they are acting from a place of pain and hurt. Diminish the hurt to make room for enrichment. Instead of hurt people hurting people, you then have enriched people enriching people.

* * *

John Alston, CSP, CPAE is an internationally known Performance Strategist whose programs have lifted the spirits of millions of people worldwide. He works with people who want to improve their lives, and with organizations who encourage personal achievement and character development. Even off the platform, John's insights captivate audiences through four books he's authored: Life is a Gift, Don't Trash It; Talking with Teens in Turbulent Times; Goodness Must Be Taught; and his latest, Stuff Happens (Then You Fix It!). For more information about John Alston, visit his website at www.JohnAlston.com

© Copyright by JohnAlston.com

CONTACT INFO: John is available for speaking engagements and interviews. He can be reached by calling his Program Director, Dana Prieto at (888) 525-6679.

Rights to reprint and reproduce this article are granted as long as it includes the full last paragraph tag line complete with web links.

America: Who Paved Our Way

To our Leaders:

Who paved our way to the life we are blessed to have in the U.S. today?  Of course one would have to say our forefathers and all the historical accounts of sacrifice and toil, including honorable men who fought for our freedom from our servicemen/women, to other committed and dedicated leaders such as MLK and many many others who should also be noted.  Historically noted and in fact they are!

But this blog is focused on a group of American Citizens who are not historically noted and that we should all be so beholden too.  These wonderful men and women will not go down in history for their sacrifice and toil, and deserve mention, protection and care.  These men and women are our Seniors.

Our Seniors have fought in wars, come through depression, paved the way for women to rise to the top and men to become entrepreneurs, and countless freedoms and rights are attributed to our Seniors both gone and still living.  They toiled from scratch to build legacies for their families, all of which gained a foundation of faith, endurance and fiscally responsible actions that give many of us an inheritance that may never be repeated in the future.  Many came over to this wonderful country from all over the world and entered through wonderful Ellis Island representing entry into the land of the free, a hope for prosperity.  They forged the way, they gave up their lives in toil to see to it that we all can live with more than the clothes on our back.  They saved and saved and payed their taxes and Social security to make a better life for all of us.

Through all of this political gaming back and forth, I am so so determined to be a voice for these hard working and honorable people who were here before all of us and we wouldn't be who we are as a country without them.

Let us remember them going forward. Why is there so little respect and regard for this very very foundational base of the U.S. population.

Game playing or serious concerns how dare we threaten their health and financial stability.  None of which any of us would have without them.  Washington, (all parties)  ENOUGH.

How dare we threaten their Savings, their Social Security payments, their Medicare benefits as a result of  poor fiscal responsibilities carried out by leadership for this nation that is for the most part their youth.  Leadership that reaps the rewards and benefits of these Seniors sacrifice.  Shame on us!

This is not a statement for any one party, it is only to bring honor to our people that walked before each of us, and a caution to stop the insanity and realize that we owe everything we have and are today to these Seniors.

Stop using these marvelous and giving people as pawns in this web of insanity created by lack of planning and accountability.

It's just me, Val  Ciao!